q: since its clear that 'cleaning up' your aesthetic and buying followers is a proven strategy to book Big venues. knowing this works, should me or the artists i work with use this strategy to get closer to our goals? i want to score runway shows in paris next year.

a: no. but having a clear concise press kit is important
a: paris runways want to score you
a: paris paris paris paris
a: no, you can find another way. you know it, everyone knows it
a: please don't. you serve us best as an honest artist
a: i am greater in the empty club than he is in the stadium because i have continued 2 create despite suffering in fame
a: define "goals"...
a: we don't need to buy what's already given (or soon come) + i'm goin to paris w you
a: you can get there without compromising your process and perspective
a: i'd rther focus on expounding on past projects and my physical platform over virtual shit...
a: your aesthetic and audience/"followers" is a process, period... i don't see anything wrong with buynig followers...if its gonna help you get to where you want...longs you know that those followers are robts...haha
a: in the end it'll come back to hurt/haunt you. better to do it the right way & be proud of that.
a:i if it works ... then yes
a: the game cold
a: ask urself, rather have 10373047 ppl that dgaf or 3 ppl that bump ur shit heavy (perspective)
a: hell naw


(private response)
a: i think you should go for it bc obviously there are too many mediocre musicians who are able to win bc they tap into the strategy. take the strategy by the horns and make it your biotch for the greater good of the world. the world needs to hear you and they will either way, but i want them to hear you now. i was just having this conversation earlier about a different art form. be as good a businessman as you are an artist. i'm blabbering but it's from the heart you got this.
me: you put it eloquently... the shit works. i just wonder whether the next generation will realize how backwards the game is and (ideally) buck the trend
a: the next generation won't have to if we do our part. remember you said the venue owners are former artists who've essentially lost touch with true art in lieu of commercialism? we just have to put in the work to reach a certain level. once we do, we can be facilitators for the youth. we'll be the new "rule makers." it feels tough right now but that's because you're in the midst of the happening. this is the journey but your arrival is imminent. people want to be seduced, seduce them.

single pane layer layer and sight as noise to hear as felt and taste a sight in its full

a day removed. less than a day from fresh of breath air of course free dom against risen glass framing the sil 2 delicately undo and affirm dreaming readily thrown against our dreaming. dreaming to thank to fall back. but red. all i see is red. red has more and more 

eyes, clothes, beneath pressed sheets forever and as patient as each one through ten shots 

not in need that pours and pours the sight of them in the lobby, sunlit. incessant to just be ok perhaps excessive not examined inquired and you slow your breathing down without drinking and observe not obscure 

of the world

less than a day removed from fresh of breath air

Cool_ass_lisa_800.jpg

i’m over ruining my body, my machine - my tongue on the roof of the mouth
do not disturb paul allen legitimizing his own influence
his disdain for nightlife - the laws of chance!

a bona fide golden queen - she had a ray gun all along !
she says a sweet sayonara with blood streaming down her teeth
the most beautiful day of your life as security snores behind the desk
we're almost there
we’ve said everything with precision
half tired half horny - high pay short term
156 pages of style and lies, a blowjob from a stranger
we lose lighters before we use them
henceforth i revel in the privacy of dinner for one
least i can chug a pint of whiskey

we have to keep refining our personal truths
and though siddhartha was no joy to himself
he marched in favor of anti radiation deer blood baths
all in favor of anti-radiation deer blood baths say i
that, and world-class trim at every VIP booth on earth
so to those compelled to shatter glass
who abuse a drug worse than the n word
and don't realize its hell till two four yrs later
only a TRUE samurai can kill you like that
chant on, neighbors “GO BACK HOME!”
the lights are on in the church and i have to chug my beer and leave
only freaky black art in the museums, galleries, concert venues, and streets of this biased city can save us
we all have our secret chart of tastes, distastes, indifferences, don’t we?


 

We’ve reached the peak of debauchery
And get ur hands off me you can't afford it!
quick, hard-hitting
Filled with nothing
rebellion against the blandness
Cutthroat masks
doing what we don’t know how to do
technique is so dated
mars to me is the vacation
For my congregation
shot through with fantasies of punishment and revenge
defined by what it isn't - what it is i don't fuckin know
guerilla pasting $2 no freebies
Waiting on our dreams beside the poor
Public access channel
if you have more than 817 i die
"a place where reality was no longer necessary"
"it's no fun being a teenage anymore"
why am i living in the most expensive city in america !
The fuck me cafe across the street
the ugly, naked truth
the worst is if nobody did anything
get ur hands off me you can't afford our mysterious room to the world '80
everyone takes their sweet fucking time !
Is this goodbye?

For them, my shell retains hope
————————————————————-
the clouds, the pasture
whizzing by as i hurtle
one hundred miles per hour
opposite to town
listen, the traffic
what we have in common
the shared desire to jump ship
to face a new circum   setance
rather than revolving around one another
to be drawn away, carried by the bay
its singing, winged children
its singing, winged children
for them, my shell retains hope
aged by lack thereof
i just want to be alone with my ideas
an empty home

Shore things
- - - - — - - - -
seems the waves aren’t as infinite as they appear - from afar, from above, from the shore - i notice the tide advancing and withdrawing what is essentially the same water. the waves are so frequent [dare i imply rhythm], that no NEW water ever seems to bruise the sand

nowing i’d been fortunate enough to see seven sunrises henceforth, ignoring undeniable easts/west slash rises/sets and knowing that the [misfortunate] river behind me beheld the true view at night through dragonfly filled bushes to the atlantic.

at some point, fervor substituted awe & i felt at peace enough to spread
the hotel’s towl and just, sit. and close my eyes. and be. the a/c drowns my mind’s ear rn but i can still feel the fugue played for me, with me. the sunset peach, lavender, shades i could never pull off without a stylist she wore and withdrew and revealed and concealed. in moments i felt a voyeur. much less bootlegging our moment vis a vis monophonic voice notes without the ocean’s permission.

no sooner than libation and nicotine coursed had night fallen. the coast drew me. an older woman walked freely into its arms, encouraging my own descent. and i appreciate her. for encouraging me to press foot to sand. and be self-explored. i felt examined and unfit. i still don’t get it. the sense of a planet beneath, greeting my ankles with its warmth. each follicle, my favorite shorts. being come-hithered inward toward inexplorable depths. impenetrable darkness. jagged-tooth, flesh-ripping seafarers that pray i came just a little closer.
a family walks behind me, imposing their dialogue with proclamative screams. they scaled the coast, all four-hundred feet i’m sure - taking sea crabs from the sand - “ya know - the ones they sell in stores.” i reflexively replied “awesome” if only to conceal the sense that at least twice today i’ve been no different.
little remorse


- - - - - -
    1    opposite to town
    2    the clouds, the pasture
    3    whizzing by as i hurtle
    4    its singing, winged children
    5    listen, the traffic
    6    to be drawn away, carried by the bay
    7    aged by lack thereof
    8    for them, my shell retains hope
    9    the shared desire to jump ship
    10    to face a new circumstance
    11    rather than revolving around one another
    12    its singing, winged children
    13    an empty home
    14    what we have in common
    15    one hundred miles per hour
    16    i just want to be alone with my ideas




 

the shot is a fisheye lens from beneath, with characater appearing empty, fully of possibility and overwhelmed by a full-body shiver that unbuttons his pants. a full-body shiver that unbottons time.

“we'll figure it out. i never repeat myself. you're too close.

scene twelve
picture yourself with a blank gaze in the tundra wearing pumps and a purse. a pair ofdice carried in a pocket - two black and five red dots. your name, always capitalized, emblazoned in the sky - P E D R O

with blood streaming from his teeth he proclaims “when in doubt, black out.” i revel in the privacy of lunch for one. we’ll trim our hair and suffer for our art in different ways, together - whenever - lets see where we’re allowed tonight. i suppose anywhere would do for now

1) Pause before you send that text to your super hot crush. Notice what it feels like in your chest, stomach, and lower regions. Just be with those sensations for a moment.

2) After you send the text, again pause. Notice what it feels like in your  chest, stomach, and lower regions. Just be with those sensations for a moment.

3) While you wait for a response, especially if it doesn’t come as quickly as you would like, pause. Again, pay attention to your body. Feel your body with your body.

4) Really pay attention to what happens in your body and your mind when you get a text or 📱 call from your 🍯, potential 🍯, or “if only” 🍯. Get curious about the rush of sensation, both the pleasurable and uncomfortable.

5) When your mind is looping with thoughts of this person observe the thinking. Recognize that you are not the thoughts, you are observing the thoughts. Stop taking the thoughts so personally and just listen to the sound of the words arise and pass.

6) Be honest with yourself when you stir up strong emotions on purpose. Yes, it feels so amazing to listen to the songs that remind you of your 💛 interest. You can experience waves of pleasure or of exciting melancholy. You don’t have to stop doing this, but recognize what you are doing. Especially if this is causing you to suffer needlessly.

7) Another way to approach this is to notice all the space around the experience. This pulsing of sexual excitement, adoration, or craving is only one tiny part of what is happening. Your attention can become very narrow and the thoughts and emotions around this person will be all that you 👀. But awareness is much, much bigger. Perhaps infinite. If you rest in awareness you will cease to become your grasping. Instead it will just be one of the many waves in an endless sea.

These practices are very powerful, but are only a beginning. The process is a continuous one. Be gentle with yourself and others.

While we can always grow more, it’s important to play too. Don’t take yourself and your spiritual growth too seriously. Trying to be a perfect specimen of mindful sexuality can start to become a little, well, dry. The suggestions above are about connecting more deeply with your partners and yourself, not how to perfect. Being attached to the 💛 Drugs moving through our bodies or the stories in our minds creates a separation. When we no longer grasp to what we want or brace ourselves for disappointment, we get to be right here right now. There’s not much that’s hotter than that.

fly to exotic land
sign on the dotted line
divin beneath your skin
not makin any sense
givin no compliments
my account private

fucking the government
i am so divisive
im makin plenty cents
- - - - -
prolly not healthy to be with me
vindication
eyes filled with pride
knowing she's as lost as i expected
in spite of my embarassment
i feel genuine realief, joy, and vengeance knowing you struggle
i lie about caring
too drunk to consider anything beyond my pride
we avoid out of fear and shame
i don't believe about lying about intimacy

- - - - -
christen the burner
im sorry though i cant tell who i am apologizing to anymore
is it too late to exchange this life
i'm not going to suddenly un-know everyone
fuck every bouncer
the malicious insider
the maniac needs space
to shatter glass without a trace
gaze above giant
idolize no man
waiting for waffles
being adorable
i've been beat lately

- - - - -
so we've crashed / starships pass us by
time and time again
don't hide, play dead
this town needs you not
needs you to rot
shame on me for believe
shame on me for believin
came to be egregious

let yourself be fulfilled
she knows u need it
u know that you should stop

spare the diamond
rare whatever
wearing moms clothes

dear whomever is in ear shot
behind collisseum curtains hides wilkhes booth
punt return / scratch & burn

village idiot

- - - - -
if i never see y'around
i wouldn't be surprised
if we never amount
it's fine

3-4 i want you  more
just before we goodbye
we become passers-by

- - - - -
the toxic copper chiropractor
sweetheart you see me
no questions today
im out and about
return when its cold
im sold and you know it
dont question today
nuns on my doorstep
how else do i reach
my congregation

gods doors are open all time of night
no question today reutrn when its cold
i must find a fifth of wine for
communion with my congregation

i'm testing the resiliency of the human body
hurt and humiliation
its not easy
now its time to heal my wounds from years past
if you're sticking around for drama

- - - - -
bear trap
bear trap
swift is your reflex
hold me
grab me
snap into my flesh

i was so sure id be a millionaire by now
then what happend
i stopped payin taxes
and did the irs come for u
not yet
gotta call u back im going under a tunnel!

get yer issue! the weekly faggot!
avoiding eye contact on the train

what have we here i wanna see
oh u wanna see it
i sure do
u wanna see it closely

caught within my own escape
pacing backwards wondering after the sunsets this chapter disable closed caption
lost between
my ears it seems
days grow older i get bolder
dodging bullets evade the rapture

as doorbells ring !
as angels sing !
i wipe my tears !
my saviours here !
my saviours clean !
my saviours clear !
im overcome
with lucid fear !

- - - - -
time is real and really cruel
i believe in satan as much as i believe in you
spare myself from incessantly refreshing
did you feel my message
outline your precious lips in my mind and fingertips
you're raw, without flaw
elegant with felt tip
i want to sleep but i cant
until you reply or say hi
spend the summer with me
i need one of your four
id die to hear you breathing
instead of reading what you say
instead of waiting for a reply
i may just change my name to you

- - - - -

to those compelled to shatter glass
you got a friend in me
to those outside who'd rather laugh
you got an enemy


- - - - -
buried in all i own
Lured by the underworld
sex drugs power control
inseminating anything i can cold
it's clear we're here, the goners
multiplying the problem
yum install docker
sing along the swan song
ticking time bomb now
farrakhan was right all along
ignited minds and trimming my lawn
finding students under the bleachers
disconnecting the speakers
disappear into ether

who died and made you so noble
are you second to jesus
do you remember who she is
in a flash i hope
this place is trashed next
broken glass and fascist
blood plastic policy
heads down kids heads down ! under the table
till the monkeys in cages
the dark ones are dangerous

uncle samuel will save us
hes alive [no hes not]
hes inside you
nevermind
weve been lied to yes
even i do
the seventh seal
sponsored
the past is catching up to me
body language

dont mistake me as a radical, a panther or an animal, as your change gon come, as your that ones different, as a symbol for progress, as a bald head big eared red white and blue symbol for hope

- - - - -
over time ive come to appreciate living in a manner thats unpredictable. though at times, knowing i have a job that can sustain my lifestyle has given me a comfort that can be sickening. i suppose fear and conditioning play a role in the phenomenon of stability

plunge into infinity with the past nagging at me like an undressed wound

i suppose that i do have and would rather throw out company that challenges this comfort

we truly desire to be used against our will by those we're magnetized to or trust. discarded even

my concern is who determines when we need to grow per se

who's to say movement is necessary. journeying within actualizes the supreme

intoxicated with play. & heartbroken to know it was just a game

well ur noble but until your an angel im going to know there is some element of getting the fuck what you want involved

im curious to whether you draw boundary

we wear clothes ffs

granted ive stolen
granted ive killed
granted im into some othered shit

i killed some friend slast week and they still love me. control and lack thereof

fight or flight
so
human right

to win a dynamic id felt dehumanized by. hold on. we're somewhere other than where we belong. we started somewhere other than we've gotten

lets not preted that you want ur disposition, philosphy to be right. to be actualized and to be reality

i suppose i want to share ur reality though

im fascinated. enticed in a manner that mesmerizes because you speak so clearly and ambiguously  and frankly murderous bc of the real life implications in any kind of indulgement beyond spiritual and in dialogue and thought

i give you permission to assume

- - - - -
reassured with tthe warmth of her body
feels that i once acknowledged
favoring me, it began to betray me
and spring forward
after taking this picture i felt a sensation
that u somehow were in it and after reflexive
tweaks to exposure and such my heart
skipped a beat when i notice the clouds
impressed a heart among themselves for us

chastity and political orthodoxy
bulma appeal
minimal erratic soul disonant ones, unresolution
simplexity?

the military of internal affairs

- - - - -

he's no joy to himself
bona fide king

we are a plotline
we are a problem

time is torture
my heart is racing i could cry
life without rather die

i actually feared what i'd do
how i'd live without someone to speak to me as poetically as you

 

consider this formal documentation of how speechless i’ve been of late & due to resounding statistics i have decided to take my talents somewhere i can be alone and even less appreciated. most the time when ppl give advice they’re speaking with themselves filtered through their transient thoughts. vowing to smile less to further misconstrue our shared penchant for dark humor. i can teach you but i have to charge and let me remind you - you’re not perfect

curiosity isn’t care hennesy isn’t help and i feel less safe in the heart of my city than outside the city gates. lets hide with the outcasts actively seeking to repel and dismantle it all hiding in pride and fear. doing any whatever sensual without sexual BANG discharge. loving like a man loves a woman he never touches, only writes to, keeps little
photographs of while secretly seeking hi fidelity subversive low brow brown bodies. in the act of observing others you may recognize yourself chasing forever ever. chanting *talk down to me* in the melody of splash waterfalls. watching your future wife; a mirage, vanish

anyway whats your story? how many parallel universes do you exist in? i’d wager four, maybe alphabet. how great a danger do you pose, on a scale of one to ten?
yesterday, respect was burning so i’ve since cultivated a stratagem of sheer offense til the last possessions. sometimes i dish, sometimes i pull up. sometimes the sky decides to be as indecisive as i and rains with no clouds and we watch above the shrine imbibing thought crimes with alcohol into internal flames lost control but holding on darling tell me where to begin unless it feels better 2 pretend.
mad materialistic, whatever. if you knew how many eleven elevens i save it’d make no difference. maybe our relationship is as crazy as it seems. we willingly disconnect and reject each other’s acceptable use policies.

you are still incorrigible, still pissing people off, and most of all still willing to give it all
you got. and though you can hide your cold gaze, and i can shake your hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable… you simply are not there - you don’t need a friendly discount you need them to do their best -
details, details - grandmother just called & asked what you were doing. you were writing. she said “i love you so much that i respect your time to yourself. bye” she hung up. dodged that one!

there’s no convincing them that my biases are truths. the idea of revolution is an adolescent fantasy, charlie brown. but dc must be painted red. people walk so quickly here
and i’m the only one with a pet dvd player. destigmatize the words i, don’t, and care lets be real - feed the grownups to the vultures ride their wings into the war - crashed into the sea drowned in memory. the subject of market research

when I’m ab to say something that is direct, relatively controversial and generally difficult to misconstrue I’m like what u about to witness is my thoughts man right or wrong what i was feeling at the time vibe with me vibe with a nigga man
your job is to be you as often as always. you have shown that you care comparatively nothing for the money it makes you, and you have no particular enthusiasm for the attending fame - purchasing fixtures from liquidated american apparel storefronts -
sometimes your absence is felt more than your presence. i’m a janitor oh my genitals oh my genitals i’m a janitor. maybe our relationship isn’t as crazy as it seems
you amaze me it hurts and i love you and I’m sorry

ethical brand x5
my kids gonna be spoiled, fat, & black with an inverted sense of entitlement. dream decor foreign film vhs. total swv shai mokenstef who else ya know they call crazy for saying theres drugs in the radio. that’s 63.5 and/or 254 for you mathematicians. so cheers to the bittersweet honor of remaining a local celebrity. curious. curious how everyone looks away when i open your eyes. its like they never noticed us. my plan. get banned & then nix the idea as too artsy and potentially off-putting

misinformation / disinformation. last night i was banned from the trans dimensional virgin portal for about a month. you get to the bar & hear the same songs you were sad to yrs ago.  years later - dies from patience wondering where it went. but fm radio was never noble. not as a child and definitely not now as an adult child. misinformation / disinformation. somehow last night i lost a lot of skin from my favorite finger. got the bug to move out the city this morning. idk, maybe montreal? making a habit of noting all so called coincidences.

bathing in deep space cosmos trilogy into your tub with this mix of neon colors sending your mind all lavender so buckle up listen to me everything is going to be all light.
boils down to whether you’ll take the last draft or avoid small talk with the girl with kaleidoscope eyes - not anything enough to have a soulmate but a damn good consolation.
in beds used again and again to fuck in to die in. and since we’re tapping into seductive paranoia -  here comes an unfiltered sexual question:
what hue are you tomorrow?
will you cry for me sweetheart! o! more tears! this is torture! where’s my wife? keep sex dangerous. have my hand tatted on your underbooty if its real.
it’d be a lot cooler if ya did

rejecting any and all notions of a compulsory black condition its still
slow bounce or die.
distinguish yourself from any language
comfortably fitting within their narrative and pray my daughter has even less respect for authority than i do